Dating fraudsters sometimes spend months building a fake relationship before asking their victims for money. So says Sophie van der Zee, who conducts research into deception and manipulation as an assistant professor at Erasmus School of Economics.
According to Van der Zee, fraudsters use social influence techniques to gain their victims’ trust. They show a great deal of interest, remember personal details and create the impression that they have a lot in common with the person they are targeting. Only once a strong emotional bond has been established do they often begin asking for money.
The impact of dating fraud can be severe. Recently, a 35-year-old man from Amersfoort was convicted of defrauding eleven women through dating apps. Prosecutors said he obtained more than €160,000 from his victims. Some of those affected suffered psychological problems as a result of the fraud.
‘Under the right circumstances, anyone can be vulnerable’
Van der Zee emphasises that fraudsters often deliberately target people who are going through a vulnerable period, such as after a relationship breakdown or during a period of loneliness. As a result, warning signs such as repeatedly postponed meetings or excuses about being abroad are more readily accepted. Key warning signs include quickly moving conversations from a dating platform to WhatsApp, repeatedly avoiding face-to-face meetings, and requests for money or investment opportunities. ‘Under the right circumstances, anyone can be vulnerable,’ says Van der Zee.
According to figures from the Dutch Fraud Helpdesk, 175 reports of dating fraud were recorded in 2025, with total losses amounting to approximately €3.5 million.
About Sophie van der Zee
Sophie van der Zee has a multidisciplinary background in psychology, economics and computer science. Her research focuses on the interplay between human behaviour and security, and she specialises in the prevention and detection of deception and dishonest behaviour in both offline and online settings.
- Assistant professor
- More information
Click here for a recent interview with Sophie van der Zee on the RTV Utrecht website (in Dutch). For more information, please contact Ronald de Groot, Media & Public Relations Officer at Erasmus School of Economics: rdegroot@ese.eur.nl, +31 6 53 641 846.
